I am tired of being an adult for this week. I am dismayed at what has been on TV. I can’t even bring myself to comment on this fiasco.
I am tired of being responsible. Doing what is right. Thinking for other people and anticipating what they are going to do. Whether they are driving a car, walking or riding a bike.
I want to be called to meals at the appropriate time, have them fixed for me and have all other chores done by someone else. I will be prompt and civil. In other words, let me be a kid again.
I have these bouts of non-adulting when something serious befalls a family member.
I do have to eventually take over my life and my non-adulting usually only lasts for an hour or so. That is the way life works.
I have read for years about dementia or Alzheimers. Other people, other families. Very, very sad. Then it started to creep into my extended family. My Mother’s youngest sister succumbed to this disease. Another Aunt also died from it. This is getting too close for comfort.
My oldest sister was diagnosed a number of years ago. She was a graduate of Gardner High School. It was class of 59. They were the last class to go on a senior trip. They went to New Orleans. I heard they had quite a time. She remembered it often.
She married and moved away. Florida, Arizona, other states, too. Eventually staying in California. She was the special Aunt for all the kids in the family. She didn’t forget a birthday. She always called and checked in on me and my kids. She called my Mom daily when Mom’s health started to fail.
She had a very good life. Kids, grandkids, trips family and lots of friends.
She was diagnosed with early dementia a few years ago. Her kids did what they could. She moved to be near a daughter, then came back to southern California this January.
The decline has been rapid. The loss of abilities is staggering. I know of a friend who lost his Mom to this horrible disease; he is still working at putting things back together. There is someone in the office with a friend who is also watching the demise of a part of their life.
There is no cure, there is no getting back lost abilities. It is fatal and final.
I am very frankly scared of this disease. Everytime I can’t remember something, it strikes fear into my heart. I am so sad for her family. My parents never forgot any of us till they day they died. My Mom called me by both of my sister’s names. I never took it personally. She knew exactly who I was.
I am so glad the four of us took a trip to San Francisco together. We spent time just doing stuff. She remembered funny Christmas stories and lots of memorable times before I was born.
I don’t want to lose a sister. Nope. But it is happening.
Right now, as I said, I am just tired of being an adult.
I am tired of ‘Adulting’ this week