Joan Dorsey
Contributing columnist
Somewhere there is a doll holding a tiny Christmas tree.I envision this doll as wearing a sweatshirt and jeans with hair in a state of disarray. The tiny Christmas tree is decorated with tiny ornaments and tiny lights.
On closer inspection the ornaments are broken and shattered. The lights are missing bulbs and electrical connections.
Last year, I wrote about my collection of very treasured ornaments and memories surrounding the holiday season. My tree was up and lit, and it was magical.
Well- my tree was up for about four days when it came crashing down. The laws of gravity and just my luck in general told me to wire that sucker to the window frame.
Did I do that?
Oh no, it is sturdy!
How could it fall down?
Well it did.
In every house I have lived in since leaving home, there has been an eye bolt installed in a corner of the room. I have always had a penchant for picking a huge Christmas tree and expecting it to fit comfortably into a lived in house. The ugly side always goes to the wall and the other side – when decorated – turn out just beautiful.
When my son was about four, we started going to the local tree farms. He was even on the front page of the Olathe paper searching for just the right tree.
He would lie on the floor and gaze at the lights and the ornaments bought and made for him. But as luck would have it, he had just left his customary spot in front of the tree when the tree fell and a lot of the ornaments broke. However, he was not under it.
From then on we tied the tree to the eye bolt. This saved a lot of “Mom worry.”
So knowing my luck with trees – I should have tied up the one last year. I know the drill. After the “fall” I sat and cried. I cried for memories lost and times past.
My son came to my rescue and brought me a very nice small fiber optic tree. I salvaged some ornaments and got on with the holiday.
Lesson learned. ( sort of) don’t mention keepsakes or things you value.
Now to this year.
In September I ordered a new tree. I found a nice online company who had L E D pre lit trees and fiber optics. I love my fiber optics. I ordered the tree and waited.
Now I wasn’t wearing my glasses when I typed in my address and on day three I noticed I was going to be very disappointed when my neighbors received a brand new tree via Fed EX.
Should I call the company or just stalk every Fed Ex truck driving down my street?
I could see me slipping out and sprinting to a nearby house then dragging a 6 ft box back to my porch.
I called, and it hadn’t shipped yet so, first problem solved.
The tree has taken up space in my living room, in a storage bag for three months.
I began to assemble it Friday night. “It’s A Wonderful Life” was on the TV, and I needed a little Christmas, right this very minute.
Tree in stand, top of tree inserted, lights plugged in. Fiber optic lights hooked up and turned on, and – – – –
The top of the tree won’t light.
I smell plastic heating up, and as I check the connection it is hot — really hot. So I unplug everything and sit down and have a good cry — again.
I contact the company, and they are sending out a new light assembly.
So I ask you right now, please check your house.
If you find a small doll that might be wearing a sweatshirt and jeans, holding a tiny broken Christmas tree with long pins sticking out everywhere, give me a call.
She and I need to have a chat.
She needs to retire from her duties.
I don’t need anymore voodoo bad luck when Christmas trees are involved.