Joan Dorsey
Contributing columnist
Well, warmer weather has driven me inside, and that only leads to me watching tv.
The commercials are somewhat entertaining, but they leave me with questions.
As a kid growing up we played walk on the furniture to avoid the hot lava. Poor Hawaii, too much lava not enough fireproof furniture. This is a bonus for living in Kansas guess. We had movies about giant ants, lizards, even a blob of stuff that rolled around consuming people.
I read stories about zombies, but primarily about how they were involved in certain religions native to Haiti, the Caribbean etc. Never actually figuring that Kansas would be a zombie zone as it is a pretty seasonal place. I have seen a car with a Zombie response team sticker on it here in town however. So who knows.
I have also noticed it seems the under 50 crowd is fascinated/horrified by this particular scenario. Mindless slow, brain eating zombies consuming their way across the United States.
In some of the older tales, zombies were created by a nuclear war, or radiation. I had another thought. What if the world was about to be taken over by zombies created by the side effects of legalized marijuana?
For years the pot growers have been perfecting their plants and growing techniques. They have turned the once famous ditch weed into an entire industry of select genetic plants. Hundreds of products and thousands of strains.
Long gone is the old Maui Wowie.
If they had used this sort of creativity on curing cancer, stopping racism, or preventing world hunger, can you imagine?
So as state by state legalizes pot, I can imagine some evil genius instilling a type of zombie virus into their prized plants. It probably wouldn’t take much. If big tobacco can place those ingredients in cigarettes to make and keep you addicted, plus change the state of your brain, is this so farfetched?
I actually doubt if the product would filter much into my age group.
Yes, I know there are some die hard weed smokers around. Mellow sort of folks munching on Doritos and drinking cola.
Not sure if these pot zombies would want our brains. They need young health brain material. Ours is mostly filled with 60’s rock and roll, crossword puzzles, watching grandchildren, or looking for our car keys and wondering why we went to the kitchen.
It would probably remove a couple of generations, and we would all have to go back to work. Newspapers and printed material might even come back into vogue.
I do realize there are known positive advantages to cannabis. It helps relieve pain in chronically ill people. Prevents seizures in others, and the lists goes on.
But we need to think about the possibility of the “pot zombie apocalypse.”
The younger folks are afraid of it, the older ones just shaking their heads.
If nothing else, I hope it has given you a chuckle or two, or conversation over your dinner meal.
All in all laughter is the best medicine.